OV Watch

Well I wore my ov watch for 2 weeks and got my "reading" for my fertile days. I actually really enjoyed wearing it-I didn't have to pay attention to what cycle day it was, or worry about my temperature, or peeing on the sticks twice a day because I was afraid I would miss my fertile window. The watch did everything for me. The only problem I had was I broke out in a rash on my arm. I am just ultra sensitive, which is why I don't wear a watch in the first place. I guess for now we just need to wait and see. Hopefully the 2WW won't be to bad with the holidays coming up and being busy with things to do.

If the watch works it will be well worth the money that it was to buy it and it would be a great new years present for both my husband and I. I am not going to kunahura anything so I will leave it at that.

Blocked Fallopian Tube

It has been a while since I posted last. I guess it's because after my testing last week I had to deal with things emotionally. I went for my repeat hysterosalpingogram and it didn't go so well. I was lying on the table, they injected the dye and at first NOTHING. I leaned over and said to the doctor, "something isn't right is it?". She said, just relax and lets see if we can get these tubes working. She had me roll from side to side-which by the way isn't the most comfortable thing but I did it. Well after a few minutes one of the tubes began to work but the other was blocked. From that point on, all I remember is "your tube is blocked" and "you might need surgery". I was devastated. In my head I am thinking how am I going to afford this as insurance won't cover anything and now this is pushing everything back (as far as having a baby goes). The moral of this story is my husband needs to be there for my tests. I really thought because I had one done before and everything was fine, there was no need to come. But to be honest he does because I guess I don't hear everything the doctor says and especially if something is wrong. It is just good to have a second set of ears.

cyst on my ovary

Well I went for an ultrasound and more bloodwork on Saturday. We found out I have a cyst on my right ovary. What this means exactly, we don't know we have to wait until we meet back with the doctor in January.

I filled all my new prescriptions this week-dreading to see what the copay is going to be. We decided I should switch to the prenatal the RE prescribed and I am also taking the Metanx for the gene thing that I have. I am very confused/concerned about this genetic mutation they found. I guess why I am concerned is because I have been trying to learn more about it and in the process I am reading that this genetic mutation causes many undesirable things such as, neural tube defects, miscarriage, still birth, strokes and the list could go on and on. David says to stop looking on the internet and just wait for our appointment with the doctor-which is easier said then done.

I have my HSG appointment on Friday. I am praying it doesn't hurt as much as last time. All the tests and the pocket book is really starting to feel it. I know I shouldn't complain, because this is something that we need to do to find out what is going on, but I am just frustrated that insurance won't cover a penny. I will leave it at that because I could go into a long venting session and it could be a while.

Happy Hanukah

Oh and before I forget wanted to wish everyone a Happy Hanukah. I can't believe it is already here. It will be January before we know it. We are going to my mom's house tomorrow night for Hanukah. I wish it was more towards Christmas time but I think next year it will be.

Our First RE Appointment

Well, we finally went to our first reproductive endrocrinologist appointment. They did a physical and basically sent us on a mission to complete numerous tests, some of which I have done in the past but they want them repeated. He said after we run all your bloodwork, ultrasounds etc.etc. we will meet back January 24 to discuss our options. Of course for me, this has been really hard to deal with because I am thinking now I am going to be "not trying" for 2 months because we have to wait for 6 weeks for the chromosome and genetic testing. My husband is telling me to wait and see. He wants us to find out if there is something wrong.

I had my first set of bloodwork done today, they took 25 viles of blood and then I had to do the glucose tolerance test which was not fun. That glucola drink was completely nasty and needless to say when I came home after the test, I walked in the door, had lunch and went to sleep.

I think the hardest part of all of this is getting people to understand that you are not crazy for spending money that you don't have to find out why you can't get pregnant and possibly find a way for you to get pregnant. I know that I can't make everyone agree with me and my husband but I just wish that I could feel support from those that are against the idea. I know it shouldn't bother me, and unfortunately it is becomming a constant argument between my husband and I.

I am tired of people telling me, "just relax it will happen" or "when it is meant to be it will be". Listen I have been trying for over 2 years and it is about time we find out what is going on to help us. Yes it is expensive but having a baby is a dream I think about all the time.

Tomorrow morning we go for more tests, and then next week I have that oh so great test -hysterosalpingogram. I did it once before but they just want to recheck since it was over a year ago. Then we will be playing the waiting game.

Happy Thanksgiving

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is already here. I remember last Thanksgiving saying, by this time next year we will have a baby. Boy was I wrong!!! Survived through yet another week, with NO TESTING for OVULATION. I am surprised myself how much less stress I have not focusing on ovulating. My husband even commented about it. I also started walking with my IPOD at night. I love it, the weather is beautiful- I listen to my music. But there is one problem-now I am having a rough time falling asleep at night. Ideally, waking up and walking before work would be better but I have to be at work at 7:30 am. Well, busy baking a pumpkin pie and my potato casserole. Wishing everyone a very happy Turkey Day:)

To Test for Ovulation or not to test???

Made it through a very busy week. But I can say so far have not had the hot flashes as bad as I usually get them-which is nice because I can sleep better. We got some good news, IVF called and was able to move our appointment up a week and it is great because it falls on a Thursday which is David's day off from work.

Just wanted to say "thank you" for your responses/comments. I will let you all know when I get my IPOD-since that seems to be the winner for the stress reduction.

Been debating whether or not to test for ovulation. Since I know we can't do the IUI this month and besides for the past several months we did test and did the baby dance at the "right times" and still nothing. I figure why stress myself out thinking and knowing about it. Because for some reason the BFN hurts more because in the back of my head I am thinking-"I ovulated-so maybe I am pregnant". I think also timing ovulation makes the 2ww feel like forever for me.

This week I spoke with a nurse at IVF and she gave me some interesting information I wasn't aware about. She said that just because you test positive on the ovulation kits-doesn't necessarily mean you are dropping an egg. Apparently those tests look at LH and in some cases you can have the LH surge without releasing an egg. She also said that clomid often thins the uterine lining which is almost like a double edged sword. It helps with ovulation but if the lining is to thin, pregnancy may be difficult.

It really is amazing when you start to think about the human body and how everything in the body has a "job".

Make a list

I am on the search to find a way to have less stress/worrying in my life. My husband seems to think that is part of the problem with our unexplained infertility. He wants me to find some sorty of outlet/or hobby to distract me from the stress of TTC. I think this is easier said than done.

I made a list of hobbies-1 shopping (will put us in debt and spend money I don't need to be spending) 2 Scrapbooking (enjoy it however I need to be in the mood and have a project in mind to complete) 3 watch general hospital (love this idea:) 4 Exercise (get an IPOD and go walking) Whatever I choose to do, I need to do it soon.

WHY

Sometimes I wish I knew the answer to the question "why?" Why do bad things happen to good people? Why are there thousands of dogs waiting to be adopted at the humane society? Why is it everywhere I look I see pregnant people or newborn babies? Why can some people just look at someone and get pregnant and others try for years and years? Why do some people in this world not understand how when you choose to have a child and get pregnant, you no longer can be selfish.

Instead you must live your life and realize the decisions you make effect your child. The reason I bring this up is I work at a hospital and see many patients (babies) that are being weaned off of cocaine and/or marijuana or shaken baby syndrome. Why do these women get to have children, when we have been trying for 2 years and I would give my right arm if we could have a child.

Cycles

Who would have ever thought I would think about each month as a "cycle" vs an actual named month (i.e January). Instead, I think about all the fun hormones I get to take once my "cycle" starts, when during my "cycle" I need to start testing for ovulation, and when during my "cycle" we will need to do the "baby dance". We went to the doctor yesterday and found out this month my gynocologist will be on vacation during my possibility of ovulation so this month is out as far as IUI goes. He also suggested I move up my IVF appointment to when my next "cycle" is supposed to start because they will probably want to run tests when I am on my "cycle" and if I keep my current appointment I would have to wait yet another "cycle". IVF is supposed to get back to me as far as the possibilty of moving my appointment for me.

The other issue is my "stress" level. My blood pressure was really high during my appointment. I had a headache the past 2 days but figured it was from the change in weather. Turns out it was my bloodpressure. The doctor really had no explanation for my "infertility". But, he did make a very obvious observation- I am a stressmonger and need to stop stressing/worrying. It is just really hard to do, especially with work. I am trying to find a way to "destress" and relax myself every day.

The Wicked Witch Has Arrived

Well its official, the wicked witch has arrived AGAIN, which means IUI #1 failed. We made a doctor appointment to decide if we should attempt another IUI or just make an appointment with IVF. I called IVF and there isn't an open appointment until December 14. Can't believe I have to wait that long but at least it let's me know that I am not alone and there must be a lot of people in my shoes. I just can't believe how expensive it is, and of course neither David or my insurance covers it. But on the positive side, at least the witch showed on time-every 31 days becomming more and more like clockwork and now I can look forward to another month of trying. I am just glad that 2ww is over because it felt like forever.

Starting up my blog

Up until a few weeks ago, I never even really knew what a blog was. But on my road down the 2ww of insanity(which I have been down many times) I stumbled across many peoples infertility blogs. I decided this is great, a place where I can come to write down/journal all my feelings and a place for others to come and realize we are not alone.